Tag Archives: meat jokes

Rim Shot

7 Oct

In this business you’ve got to find your amusement where you can. Here are some of the answers we used to give customers when they:

  • ordered bologna: “Would you like that sliced lengthways or crossways?”
  • asked for chicken legs: “Would you prefer the front legs or the back?”
  • asked whether we had any dog bones:  “Sorry, we didn’t cut up any dogs today.”
  • asked whether a piece of meat would feed six:  “Certainly, if three of them don’t eat.”
  • requested chicken breast:  “Would you prefer the left or the right?”
  • asked if the store stocked any Capons: “No, we took all the capes off.”
  • and when a customer exclaimed … “Wow! $ 8.99 a pound for veal cutlets. The shop down the street sells them for $ 5.99, but they’re out of them right now.” … We’d reply “Well, when we’re out of them we only charge $ 3.99 a pound.”

 

 

Teeny mutton quiz:

A) What’s a gummer?

B)  What’s a wether?

C)  What’s a solid-mouth?

A) a ewe sheep that’s lost all her teeth  B) a castrated male sheep  C) a sheep with two central incisors, two middle incisors, two lateral incisors, and two corner incisors (eg: an adult sheep more than four years old)

A really bad beef joke.

16 Jan

OK, so a little French kid comes to America and is enrolled in school.

For the first few days he doesn’t talk. His teacher notices and says, “Jean-Pierre, it’s time you participated in this class.  Give me a sentence with the words ‘defence’, ‘defeat’ and ‘detail’ in it.”

Jean-Pierre thinks for a while.

Then he says, “When de cow jumped over defence, defeat went over before detail.”

Stop groaning.. all my good meat jokes can’t be published.